Can You See Me in My Office: Shaynee Lee Part 2

She went straight back to work.

“Shaynee for Dragon,” she said into the walkie-talkie. “Go for Dragon,” the walkie-talked yelled back.

People named Dragon? Vans? Float? Walkie-talkies? What world had I just walked into? The only word that wasn’t new was Van.

Alex got me hooked up with a credential, a moment I will never forget because I felt SO FUCKING COOL. I am embarrassed to say that I did put it on like a necklace at first. What a dork! Alex was a good dude and wasn’t going to let me go out like that. 

“I’ve got an extra carabiner you can use if you’d rather have that,” he said, gesturing to how he wore his credential hooked to his belt loop.

Good looking out, Alex.

I was then introduced to my white, 15-passenger van. I would develop a love-hate relationship with this vehicle over the next decade. Optimal for traveling with multi-passengers and napping. Not optimal for anything else. But hey, I drove these suckers in major cites. I’m pretty much on the same level as Loyd Christmas. “

It’s OK. I’m a limo driver!”

Next, I got my walkie-talkie. It was marked with a piece of bright orange gaffer tape around the antenna that said, “Greenberry?” I loved the question mark. People never know if that is my first or last name. It drove my pops crazy.

One time I was with him at a doctor’s appointment. We were in the waiting room when the person at the front desk called out, “Mr. Greenberry? Mr. Greenberry, are you here?” He didn’t say anything.  “Mr. Greenberry?,” the voice now irritated and impatient called out one last time.

Pops let out a deep sigh, stood up, and walked over to the desk. “I don’t know who the hell Mr. Greenberry is, but Mr. Taylor is right here.” I guess after 65 years that shit gets old. I will let you know how I feel about it in 30 years.

Back to Shaynee

I had my creds and van, so the only thing left was float. To my disappointment, it was not an actual float, which I really did believe I would receive as some sort of decor for my van since this was a music festival on the beach! However, float is a word used to describe cash that a driver is “floated” to cover gas, and if you are lucky, an off-site meal. 

It was about 4 o’clock once I was all set up. Since my shift didn’t start until 6, I really wanted to go see Primus and The Roots. I walked back in to the trailer and politely asked Shaynee if I could watch some music before my shift. 

She looked down at her watch and then back up at me. There was skepticism in her eye. 

“Sure. Remember, you start at 6 p.m., so be back by then. Have a great time at the show. The Roots rule.”

I watched both shows — both absolutely incredible — and made sure I was back at my van by 6 p.m. I radioed what I will call headquarters from now on. This is the trailer I visited earlier. It’s where the coordinator on duty fields calls from drivers, creates a list for scheduled rides, and SO MUCH more. 

Seriously, I don’t know if they even stop to breathe.

“Greenberry for Shaynee,” I radioed. Silence. I tried back a few minutes later. “Greenberry for Shaynee.” This time, I was met with an unfamiliar voice. “Who is this?,” the voice asked. “Greenberry. I was hired today and met Shaynee….” but was cut off before I could finish. 

“Ok. Hang tight and I’ll radio back when we need you.” No name or anything, just instructions to “hang tight.”

Around 7:30 ish my walkie-talkie came alive. “Jason for Greenberry.” Ah. The voice did have a name! Jason was the overnight coordinator. He proceeded to send me on runs where I picked-up/dropped-off artists, crew, and sometimes celebs. 

I finished my first night of work around 6:00 a.m. It would have been a little earlier, but I spent an hour searching for Marlboro Lights, a brand of cigarettes that no longer existed.  

You see, in 2006 a federal court found the tobacco industry guilty of using deceptive wording such as “light” to promote them as healthier. So, the tobacco industry used colors to replace the term. 

The product did not change, but when you walked into a store you had to say, “Hey, let me get a back of Marlboro Blues. The light blues. All cigarettes aren’t bad for you. The color is light, so the cigarette is healthy. They smell really good, too.”

Had I known this information, and had the person asking for this brand JUST SAID NO as a teenager, I would have been sitting pretty at 5:30 a.m.

The D.A.R.E. Campaign failed another one of America’s youth, I guess. It was so effective, though. *Packs one-hitter. Resumes writing*

Anyway, I finished at 6 a.m. I had called a friend that was staying in Gulf Shores a few hours before my shift started and asked if I could crash. They were cool and said yes. I laid down on the paper thin carpet covering concrete and immediately knocked out until about 4 p.m.

When I woke up, I got in my van and made my way to the trailer, which factoring in traffic and parking took me about an hour to go less than a mile.

I walked in and Shaynee looked up from her computer. 

“I did not expect to see you again. Jason said you did a good job. Keep it up.” 

I was curious as to why she was so shocked that I showed up after I was literally just hired. Later I would learn that people are often onboarded, get their credentials (which get you access to pretty much anywhere), do one shift, and then ghost Artist Transpo.

A lot of these people are volunteers. So, Shaynee’s first question now made a lot of sense to me. 

I did the same routine starting at 6:00 p.m. the following night, which was the closing day for the show. I recruited my best friend, Ron, to come work with me. Shaynee loved Ron and his laugh. We got to work the graveyard shift together.

It was so cool. I got to drive some of my favorite artists, but I won’t put them on blast. I will say that they were all super nice and friendly. Down to earth, bro.

When my final shift ended, Ron and I caught some shuteye before returning our vans. Once we dropped off our sweet rides, we walked into headquarters. Shaynee got up and asked if she could talk to me outside. This is a phrase you come to fear if Shaynee ever utters it in your direction, but I was new and had no clue what “Can you come to the office and talk to me” usually meant.

“You did a really good job. Would you like to work at Bonnaroo in a few weeks,” she asked, taking a drag from her Parliament.

I could not believe she just asked me to work BONNAROO! I was/am a huge fan of the festival, having attended in 2005 as an attendee.

“Of course. That would be awesome. I’d love to. Thank you so much.”

Later that year I went on to work Bonnaroo and Austin City Limits. I think there might have been another, but I am unsure. The next year, I got the call to come work a well-known show out in California in late spring/early summer. I was super excited.

I had no idea I was on the brink of a mental breakdown, though.

You see, I have been diagnosed with some mental health stuff over my years, starting when I was 18 (2005). Talking about this with people wasn’t something I did openly like I do now. It was very taboo, and also hard for people to understand. They always looked at you differently. I didn’t want my new friends to look at me that way, so I grindded through a series of panic attacks, manic episodes, and intense fear for a month.

I was in California without a car, working graveyard shifts with people I didn’t really know, including Wyatt, and living with people I didn’t know in a large house. If you know about mental health,  then you know those are a lot of variables that cause uncertainty, which is pretty much fuel for the fire.

Somehow, I made it through California. Shaynee had invited me to work the festival in Alabama where we met the previous year in May. I thought it would be cool because that is my hometown and a lot of uncertainty would be removed. 

I was wrong.

It was the second day of the festival when the agoraphobia smashed me like a Mack Truck. I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time, but it was enough to shake me to my core. Paralyze me with fear.    

Ironically enough, one of my teeth was fucked up and I had an infection that needed a root canal. I used that as my excuse and got out of working the show.

Shaynee texted and checked in on me. My new friends like Dayne, Dragon, T-Germ, and Skeo did the same. They all asked if I was going to do Bonnaroo. I made up some dumb excuse to get out of that. I hid what was really going on.

Eventually, I wrote Shaynee a letter and mailed it to her home in L.A. I told her everything that was going on. That it was agoraphobia and how sorry I was for lying and dodging her after all she had done for me.

In true Shaynee fashion, she wrote me back. Her letter was packed with empathy and understanding. 

Shaynee put in a lot of effort from very far away to help me and be there for me. Part of that was rallying my new friends (Shaynee’s long-time friends) and having them reach out to me. T-Germ sent me Halloween cards…during August and September. Dragon and Dayne called. Skeo stopped by Alabama to visit me. That Wyatt guy sent me texts.

She was working a show in Orlando, Florida, and asked if I wanted to come. “You don’t have to work, you can just come hang with,” she said. “Can I bring my sister,” I asked. “Of course,” she responded. 

Mallory drove me to Orlando from Alabama. About a 7-hour drive. I freaked out MULTIPLE times on the way down there, but we made it. Shaynee greeted me with a great big hug and I introduced her to Mal. Then she pulled me aside and said, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you feel uncomfortable, just let me know.”

I get emotional thinking about what Shaynee did for me. She didn’t invite me with any expectation or intention. She did it to help me!

I got out of the house! I rode in a car! I was around people! I went to Disney! 

Of course, it was very hard and I immediately relapsed when I got home. But that let me know Shaynee Lee was a mother fucking ride-or-die. A person who was genuine, compassionate, and awesome.

The rest is history. I spent the next decade of my life growing up with Shaynee and all my new friends. Going on adventures. Traveling. Introducing Coltrane to a whole new world.

Eventually, Shaynee accepted a full time gig out in L.A. Emily sort of inherited Shaynee’s shows (Em is the human not eating a sammy in the photo above). Em looked out for me. She still looks out for me. She is also the  best.  

And so is everyone else I met during that period of time. They are all my ride-or-dies.

I do not say this shit lightly, though. These are people I can count on. People I love deeply, and I know love me back. People I know that when my chips are down, I can bet on them to have my back. 

They are there when my life is fun. When life is shit. When close friends die, like Wyatt.

When dad died, the effort to support me was there, too.

You’d be surprised who shows up to support you. Some people cannot make it, and I get that; so there is no love loss there. But if you’re five hours away and it’s a weekend…yeah. You can get in the fucking car. You can make an effort.

Since festivals are happening all of the time, most of them were working. Seriously, Google “music festivals” and I guarantee you that you’ll see they are pretty much happening every month. 

A lot of them were right in the middle of a show when pops passed away. Literally impossible for them to leave. But my friend Annel Photoshopped a photo of pops we wanted to use for the main picture at his service. She was working a show in L.A., but she made time. She removed a seatbelt that was across his chest. The photo was at the front of the church. Thank you, Annel.  

Dragon came, though.

Dragon is on tour A LOT, but he flew down for pop’s service. He was there for the service and to say hello my family and I afterward, but then had to fly out a few hours later. He was in town for less than 24-hours, and was set to go out on the road in a few hours after his return.

Him being there let me know ALL of my festival family (that’s what we call each other) were there. Aside from the donations they made in my pop’s name, and the dozens of texts and calls, they all made sure to say, “We send our love with Dragon.” He was kind of like an ambassador for the group. 

I bring this up to reinforce just how much these people care about me. They are truly the best. And I would not know any of them if it were not for Shaynee Lee.

I will forever be grateful to for her friendship. Thank you, Shaynee Lee. Now, please come see me in my office in New York.